Thursday, February 16, 2006
By MERRY FIRSCHEIN
STAFF WRITER
CHRIS PEDOTA / THE RECORD
arrowChana Rayman with Ariel Kahan. Ariel's mom, Michal, says her children look forward to the teens' weekly visits.
Making new friends can be a challenge for any child, but it can be extra difficult for children with special needs. One Bergen County program pairs Orthodox Jewish teens with physically and mentally disabled Jewish youngsters in an effort not only to form new friendships but also to provide role models.
The program, Friendship Circle, under the auspices of Friends of Lubavitch of Bergen County, helps families with special needs children and gives teenagers the opportunity to learn more about people with disabilities, said Zeesy Grossbaum, program organizer.
Friendship Circle, with about two dozen chapters in the United States, Canada and Australia, already was successful in the Livingston area. Grossbaum and husband Moshe formed the local chapter in October 2003 and run it out of their Paramus home.
Chabad Center of Passaic County, in Wayne, has a similar program, called Goodness Group.
Zeesy Grossbaum said the program is her way of helping others. "Any help we can give these families, any little bit of assistance is good," she said.
The program works with families who have children in the "whole spectrum" of special needs, including those with autism, cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. Children with attention disorders also are included -- because their social life suffers, she said.
The Bergen Friendship Circle started with four families three years ago; now 60 families are enrolled, with children from ages 2 through 21. About 120 teen volunteers, in seventh through 12th grades, are the "friends."
The volunteers, in pairs, make weekly visits during the academic year to a family with a special needs child. Their goal is to help the child feel just like other children who have play dates, Grossbaum said.
Two teams of Friendship Circle volunteers, one on Mondays and one on Thursdays, visit the Teaneck home of Michal and David Kahan to play with Elie, 6, a special needs child, and his siblings, Ariel, 4½, and Aliza, 2½.
On a recent Thursday evening, Yocheved Greenberg and Chana Rayman, 14-year-old Teaneck residents, came to "play." For 90 minutes, they played various games with the three children. Someone made sure Elie was included in every activity.
Michal Kahan said Friendship Circle is one of her support systems.
"I wanted to have people with him who learn to love him for who he is and have the opportunity to ask me questions before making up their minds [about special needs children]," she said.
Yocheved has been visiting Elie for a year and a half. "They're great kids and fun to work with," she said. "It helps me, when I see other special needs kids" to have this relationship, she said.
The teen volunteers get as much out of the program as the children.
Aliza Greenberg has participated in Friendship Circle for three years. This year the 14-year-old is visiting a 6-year-old autistic boy who lives in River Edge. She said she can tell that the boy is happy to see her; he tries to unzip her jacket when she arrives and he hugs her when she leaves.
"I love watching [children with disabilities] be able to grow and learn new things," she said. "Aside from them being a little slower than people without disabilities, they are just the same. They have the same emotions; they know what's going on, even if they can't express it all the time."
At the Kahan home, Yocheved and Chana have learned to interpret Elie's sounds into needs and wants. They make sure he is always supervised. They constantly remind Elie to keep toys out of his mouth, and to look at the toys as he's playing with them.
They also give him lots of reinforcement when he puts a puzzle piece in the right spot. And they shower attention on Ariel and Aliza.
Grossbaum works hard to protect the volunteers as well as the families in the program.
She tells the families that the volunteers are not baby sitters. Parents of the special needs children sign a waiver that an adult will be home at all times.
She also tries to safeguard the families. She checks references of the potential volunteers -- even a seventh-grader knows someone unrelated who could vouch for him or her, she said -- and meets their parents before allowing the students to participate.
Friendship Circle also holds parties and programs for the children at Jewish holidays. There's also a "moms night out" program, which recently had a party at a local chocolate shop.
Elie loves the girls who come to visit him, Michal Kahan said. And it's a "little respite."
"For my other kids it's been wonderful," she said. "It's so exciting to have a play date with someone who is 10 years older than you. ... it's someone they look forward to every week."
E-mail: firschein@northjersey.com
Copyright © 2006 North Jersey Media Group Inc.
By MERRY FIRSCHEIN
STAFF WRITER
CHRIS PEDOTA / THE RECORD
arrowChana Rayman with Ariel Kahan. Ariel's mom, Michal, says her children look forward to the teens' weekly visits.
Making new friends can be a challenge for any child, but it can be extra difficult for children with special needs. One Bergen County program pairs Orthodox Jewish teens with physically and mentally disabled Jewish youngsters in an effort not only to form new friendships but also to provide role models.
The program, Friendship Circle, under the auspices of Friends of Lubavitch of Bergen County, helps families with special needs children and gives teenagers the opportunity to learn more about people with disabilities, said Zeesy Grossbaum, program organizer.
Friendship Circle, with about two dozen chapters in the United States, Canada and Australia, already was successful in the Livingston area. Grossbaum and husband Moshe formed the local chapter in October 2003 and run it out of their Paramus home.
Chabad Center of Passaic County, in Wayne, has a similar program, called Goodness Group.
Zeesy Grossbaum said the program is her way of helping others. "Any help we can give these families, any little bit of assistance is good," she said.
The program works with families who have children in the "whole spectrum" of special needs, including those with autism, cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. Children with attention disorders also are included -- because their social life suffers, she said.
The Bergen Friendship Circle started with four families three years ago; now 60 families are enrolled, with children from ages 2 through 21. About 120 teen volunteers, in seventh through 12th grades, are the "friends."
The volunteers, in pairs, make weekly visits during the academic year to a family with a special needs child. Their goal is to help the child feel just like other children who have play dates, Grossbaum said.
Two teams of Friendship Circle volunteers, one on Mondays and one on Thursdays, visit the Teaneck home of Michal and David Kahan to play with Elie, 6, a special needs child, and his siblings, Ariel, 4½, and Aliza, 2½.
On a recent Thursday evening, Yocheved Greenberg and Chana Rayman, 14-year-old Teaneck residents, came to "play." For 90 minutes, they played various games with the three children. Someone made sure Elie was included in every activity.
Michal Kahan said Friendship Circle is one of her support systems.
"I wanted to have people with him who learn to love him for who he is and have the opportunity to ask me questions before making up their minds [about special needs children]," she said.
Yocheved has been visiting Elie for a year and a half. "They're great kids and fun to work with," she said. "It helps me, when I see other special needs kids" to have this relationship, she said.
The teen volunteers get as much out of the program as the children.
Aliza Greenberg has participated in Friendship Circle for three years. This year the 14-year-old is visiting a 6-year-old autistic boy who lives in River Edge. She said she can tell that the boy is happy to see her; he tries to unzip her jacket when she arrives and he hugs her when she leaves.
"I love watching [children with disabilities] be able to grow and learn new things," she said. "Aside from them being a little slower than people without disabilities, they are just the same. They have the same emotions; they know what's going on, even if they can't express it all the time."
At the Kahan home, Yocheved and Chana have learned to interpret Elie's sounds into needs and wants. They make sure he is always supervised. They constantly remind Elie to keep toys out of his mouth, and to look at the toys as he's playing with them.
They also give him lots of reinforcement when he puts a puzzle piece in the right spot. And they shower attention on Ariel and Aliza.
Grossbaum works hard to protect the volunteers as well as the families in the program.
She tells the families that the volunteers are not baby sitters. Parents of the special needs children sign a waiver that an adult will be home at all times.
She also tries to safeguard the families. She checks references of the potential volunteers -- even a seventh-grader knows someone unrelated who could vouch for him or her, she said -- and meets their parents before allowing the students to participate.
Friendship Circle also holds parties and programs for the children at Jewish holidays. There's also a "moms night out" program, which recently had a party at a local chocolate shop.
Elie loves the girls who come to visit him, Michal Kahan said. And it's a "little respite."
"For my other kids it's been wonderful," she said. "It's so exciting to have a play date with someone who is 10 years older than you. ... it's someone they look forward to every week."
E-mail: firschein@northjersey.com
Copyright © 2006 North Jersey Media Group Inc.
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